The Lost Art of “Office-ing”

This past weekend, I went down the rabbit hole of a LinkedIn post discussing (lamenting) the cancellation of remote or hybrid options by many companies. Monday emboldened the trend with Amazon's announcement that all corporate employees need to return on-site five days a week. All of this prompted a swift backlash from a large amount of people. It seems the day we never thought would come has arrived, and nobody was ready for it.

If you really think about it, less than five years ago there was no such thing as hybrid or fully remote positions—at least not on a broad scale. Post-pandemic, of course, it’s commonplace. In fact, it has become a major selling point for employers and a major sticking point for prospective employees.

For the record, as a former manager in various companies, I honestly couldn’t care less when and where you do your job so long as you don’t miss a single deadline. Work in the nude from 11 pm to 6 am for all I care, but if you fall short anywhere along the line, I’m gonna get irked and revoke the privilege. I very much enjoy on-site work life and often miss it. But that’s just me. To each their own.

With all that said, there’s one very important aspect that employees seem to forget about when working remotely vs. on-site. Something that I miss most about my former in-office life. And (whispers) something that kinda spits in the face of any employer who thinks on-site employees are more productive…

The lost art of “office-ing.”

I describe “office-ing” as the way people are seen in-office for 8-10 hours a day while actually only doing 2-3 hours of work. How? Glad you asked.

Think of a typical workday. Let’s say you’re expected to be there from 9-6. 

You arrive right around 9-ish. You drop your stuff at the desk, power up the tech, maybe visit the restroom and grab yourself a cup of coffee. You might see someone in the office kitchen, so you chit-chat a few minutes about the game, the wedding, the third-grade piano recital, the weather, the whatever. 

You go back to your desk. You check a few emails, maybe find some funny memes someone sent you that you share with some coworkers, then get your stuff ready for the 10 am meeting. The meeting goes 10-11 am, after which you stop at the kitchen to grab another cup o’ joe, then stop by the boss’ office to ask some follow ups and for a few minutes of BMNT (Boss Make Nice Time). 

Note: This is BIG. Make sure you’re seen by the top brass. Every single day. And make sure you throw in some random thoughts about the meeting you just had. It’s your only proof that you exist.

Uh oh! It’s time to start asking around to determine who wants to go to lunch and where everyone wants to go. By the time the lunch polls close, It’s noon. Including your walk there, eating, paying, and walking back, your lunch “hour” turns into 90 minutes.  

Understandably, you’re a little groggy from lunch, so you may need another coffee before the 2 pm meeting. But, HEY! When did Carl come back from vacation? You need to hear all about it!

Your 2 o’clock meeting gets bumped 30 minutes because Margaret’s 1 o’clock ran long. But you really can’t work on anything for 30 minutes now, can you? That’s silly!

Darn it! Your 2:30 meeting ended after 3:30, so you have just enough time to slap together the notes to share with your team. You’ve got that brainstorm that was scheduled for 3, but now moved to 4 because your 2 moved to 2:30. 

By the time everyone gets a drink, hits the restroom, and stops to answer a quick question about something for someone, the last person trickles in at 4:15. Now, of course, you need to have a solid 15 minutes of CMNT (Coworker Make Nice Time) before the meeting starts. By the way, both Phillip and Jen have a hard stop at 5, so you need to move this along. 

Hmmm… let’s face it, Phillip and Jen are the core of this project, so if they’re leaving, we probably should break up and “work on our own” for a bit, then reconvene tomorrow. 

Whoa, It’s after 5 already? Really no sense in starting something now. Maybe you can answer a few emails to catch up before heading out.

6 pm. Let’s call it a day. You’re probably spent.

For all the “work/life balance” people out there, life definitely wins in this scenario. Sure, you didn’t get your laundry done or get to take a mid-day shower. But let’s not pretend like you’ve been mining coal for 10 hours—unless you’re a coal miner, in which case you get a pass.

Also, let’s not forget accountability. There are a dozen ways to digitally track your activity and productivity in a remote/hybrid environment. Almost none of these are implemented when you’re on-site. Double win.

So, before you put your foot down about returning to on-site, think about the upside. In-office life is a study in high-visibility shirking! 

Let’s get real.

All joking aside, there’s something to be said about the genuine camaraderie that I firmly believe strengthens teams. That, in my opinion, can only happen in an on-site environment via traditional office chit-chat. Chit-chat is the cornerstone of team bonding and has all but disappeared from the corporate landscape. Rarely, if ever, does anyone plan and start a Zoom call just to shoot the shit. Shit-shooting is an art form in its own right. It requires hallways and office chairs and kitchen tables and the courtyard in the back that used to be a smoking area way back when. Don’t disregard its importance. 

All the arguments against returning to work seem to be based around personal convenience, vs. what’s best for the company. Don’t get me wrong, some of the employer’s reasons for the return are thin at best. Show me proof that your employees are less productive in a remote system, and I’ll gladly lead the parade back through the lobby myself. In fact, all evidence is to the contrary, as most companies reported productivity at an all-time high during the COVID crisis. But the reasons are always… let’s say, unquantifiable. “Collaboration” is the default (somewhat scripted) reason. I’ve yet to see concrete proof that on-site collaboration is any more valuable than remote collaboration. If you’re talking with, interacting with, accepting the advice of, or otherwise exchanging ideas with other coworkers, you are collaborating. Geography makes 0.0% difference. 

And employees, the bulk of you fall back on “work-life balance,” “spending time with family,” “not wasting time in traffic,” etc. But let’s get real for a second. For a large percentage of you, it’s total BS.

Look, if I had to choose between sleeping an extra hour and working in my PJs all day or getting up early, showering, getting dressed, cramming something resembling breakfast in my mouth, and sitting in traffic, of course I’d always choose the first. But the majority of people aren’t utilizing that time for anything productive in their personal lives. What they are doing is watching TV while they work, and getting sucked into the internet vortex on “the best new irons for mid-handicap golfers” for two full hours. They just don’t want to go into an office anymore. Anyone vehemently defending this argument is completely full of it. So, stop it… you can’t kid a kidder.

The only exception is for those who accepted a fully remote position, which has now unexpectedly converted into an on-site model. People don’t make career decisions based solely on salary. Where they live, their transportation budget, proximity to their kid’s school, and more just as much dictate whether a position is good for them. So, if your employer has an abrupt “change of heart” regarding remote work, you have every right to protest. All others are only pretending to be put upon.

Employers, you’re not off the hook either. In a recent candid conversation with one of my C-suite friends, there was a moment of honesty where he admitted, “Look, I’ve worked my ass off my entire career to finally get a big, fat, impressive office. If nobody’s there to see it, do I actually have a big, fat, impressive office?” So, at least part of the reason you want people to come back to the office is so they can see you in your ivory tower versus on camera in your tiny, converted laundry room with the paint-stained mud sink. It’s a significantly less impactful (read: imposing) visual.

All in all, while I believe remote and hybrid work scenarios are a huge vote of confidence and trust in your team, returning to the office will keep building steam whether we like it or not. Make the best of it. Enjoy the perks of face-to-face time with your coworkers. Build lasting relationships and have as much fun as you can. Or, barring all that, just keep your head down and put in your solid 3 hours.

Remember the on-site credo: Never put off until tomorrow that which can be done the day after tomorrow.

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Hey there! I'm JR Soldano, an award-winning director, producer, and writer passionate about creating standout campaigns that deliver exceptional results. I’m all about building working relationships no matter where you’re working. Let’s push the limits, shake things up, and, most importantly, get your brand noticed.

Let’s connect and make some marketing magic happen! Click here to text/call or email me at jrsoldano@mac.com.