Find the Joy (or Find the Exit)

Personally and professionally, I live life by a series of credos. Some instilled by my parents: “I don’t care if you want to be a ditch digger. Just be the best ditch digger you can be.” (Thanks, Grandpa.) Some from past work colleagues: “Anyone in a company can say no. Only a cherished few have the power to say yes.” (Thanks, Hank.) And, yes, even a few picked up from classic movies: “Do or do not. There is no try.” (Thanks, Yoda.) Not everyone agrees that the complexities of work, parenting, and life in general can be reduced to “teach a man to fish” cookie fortunes, but in my case, it works.

On a whim, I recently looked up an old boss from a job I had and loved—long ago in a galaxy far, far away—to see what he’d been up to over the years. I was saddened to discover that he passed away years ago. But I found comfort in remembering how much joy he brought to me personally and our work environment. Mostly, it sparked a memory of the sage advice he gave me during my career’s infancy. On one particular day, I was feeling too big for my then slim-waisted britches and was acting somewhat unprofessionally. Or, to be accurate, more unprofessionally than usual. I grumbled, ranted, and softly stomped around the office, throwing out a volley of “this job sucks”-type gripes. Not too loudly, but loudly enough to hopefully elicit a “hey, what’s the matter, slugger?” sympathetic response. Instead, at the end of the day, my boss called me into his office, sat me down, and, uncharacteristically, shut his door. Then he gave me a piece of stern wisdom I’ve saved in my catalog of credos ever since: “Find some joy in your job or find a new job.”

Anyone who has worked with me, for me, or around me will attest that I like to have fun at work—lots of fun. Of course, working with a veritable spice rack of personalities throughout my career, there have been a few sour apples in the bushel. But they eventually come around. There are few situations, especially in an office setting, that can’t be made better by a good old-fashioned belly laugh. Countless studies illustrate the impact of a fun workplace — boosts in creativity, productivity, job satisfaction, and other benefits. I’m hardly an expert on the topic, but the core concept is really quite simple. You must want to be there. Odd as it may sound, you should look forward to being there. You spend 8-12 hours a day of your precious time on earth at work. You must find some joy in it. And let’s face it, for the most part, none of us are saving lives through our work. In my case, it’s moving pictures supporting moving words. Nobody will die today if I make a mistake. (Unless you’re a doctor, fireman, cop, or soldier. In which case, you get a free pass on grumpy.)

Now, any of us can have a bad day. We’re human. Your kid is failing algebra, your car is on its deathbed, you split the crotch of your Dockers…whatever. Bad days happen. But if you’re the type where good days are the exception rather than the rule, you may want to take notice. Because, trust me, your employer already has.

Yes, your horrible attitude has absolutely attracted the attention of your employer. You may think your seething disgruntlement is flying below the radar, but it’s not. That’s because every good boss knows unhappy employees do more than sour the apples around them. They reflect poorly on the entire company. 

For example, I recently had the pleasure of working closely with a former colleague who relocated to California to head the marketing department of a television network. The pleasure was two-fold. First, it was nice to reminisce about mutual associates and friends from days past. And, she shares the same East Coast sensibility and snarky sense of humor as mine. (More on that in my next blog.) In short, she’s a pleasure to work with. 

The team she inherited (and I was assigned to collaborate with)? Not so much. To say there was a palpable, caustic hostility in the team is an understatement. Still, having done this seemingly a thousand times before, I understood. A stranger coming in to lead their tight-knit team is unsettling, but the tension usually passes when they realize I’m no threat to their jobs. Immediately, I identified an individual who was a step beyond the typical initial discomfort. This person wasn’t just protecting her space. This person just plain didn’t want to be there. In the following weeks, the rest of the team cautiously softened their recumbent positions and settled into the tasks at hand. All except the one who remained combative and altogether acerbic until the bitter end. Absolutely zero joy. As if she was being forced to work at gunpoint. I began to question how a company could tolerate such a potentially team-damaging agitator.

Experience taught me never to criticize anyone at a company openly. “Assume everyone is the VP’s niece or nephew ’cause they probably are.” (Thanks, Pierre.) Yet, as is typical of these long-term projects, my colleague asked for a post-mortem to discuss future strategies, the team’s strengths and weaknesses, and so on. Less than a minute into our conversation, she interrupted me and asked, “And what about [person]?” Inside thought: “Say something nice, or don’t say anything at all.” (Thanks, somebody famous.) Before I could decline to comment, she said, “She clearly doesn’t want to be here. She’s a real pill. I apologize for her behavior.”

Obviously, this person was causing embarrassment for the company. Obviously, she is unhappy in her current gig. It begs the question, why stay? I can’t remotely imagine waking up every morning absolutely dreading going to work. Moreover, I can’t imagine her co-workers not wanting to throttle her salty neck. Every. Single. Day. That kind of attitude is office poison. “If you’re here and I’m here, isn’t this our time?” (Thanks, Spicoli.) If you’d like to suffer through life in a job you detest, I can’t stop you—unless you work for me. But why screw it up for everyone?

The old saying “Do what you love and the money will follow” (Thanks, Marsha Sinetar) isn’t always true. In fact, many people who do what they love live and die ass broke. But at the very minimum, find a joy-to-dollar ratio that makes things tolerable for you. If that means in another profession, change now while you can. Life is short. Find a reason to get up in the morning. Relish the opportunity to connect with co-workers and form nurturing, productive relationships. Bring positivity to the workplace and make “bad days” the exception.

I don’t claim to be the happiest person on earth. I don’t claim to absolutely love every aspect of my job. But trust me, it will affect every aspect of your life if you simply find your joy at work. It’s just one less thing to stress over. Otherwise, “Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.” (Thanks, Dad.)